I woke up that morning with a thought loud and clear, “F%ck it! I’m quitting today.
But this wasn’t just about quitting a job; it was about defying a life that no longer felt mine. This story isn’t merely mine — it could be yours too, if you’ve ever found yourself questioning, “Is this all there is?”

My reasoning:

I’m not doing it their way.
I’m not gonna take this shit anymore.
They can find another stupid who is going to do it. Good luck!

What was my tipping point? Could I continue to align my professional life with practices that contradicted my …? Yeah right, my What?

Was this mature?
Absolutely — because in that moment, I chose myself. (at least today I can tell)

Back then, if you asked me to elaborate on my decision, I’d probably have rambled about annoying colleagues, slow processes, or unfair forecasts. But the true core of my decision — I couldn’t tell.

Fast forward 13 years (yes, time flies!), and now I can articulate what I couldn’t back then. The essence of my decision lay not in the specifics of the job but in a profound disconnect with my values.

Why should you care?

Well, if you wake up every morning and your first thought probably is

• “Why am I still doing this?”
• “Is this it? Is this all life has to offer?”
• “Life hates me.”

my journey might offer you a shortcut through the maze of your emotions. It took me 13 years to grasp the ‘why’ behind my decision, but perhaps you can get there quicker.

This does not mean that you won’t do things at all it’s just that you might understand why you did things and potentially how to avoid getting into similar situations ever again.

Back to the story…

I was working for a mobile phone company and was selling hardware and contracts. Easy, right? If you like sales and closing customers then this is the perfect job. Everybody needs a mobile device and a contract. Even the elderly people; the slow ones. The ones that don’t understand the technical gibberish and trust your expertise and honesty while you are consulting them.

While working there, a pivotal moment came when an elderly customer, bewildered by the array of options, looked to me for guidance. In her eyes, I saw not just a potential sale, but a human being placing her trust in me, seeking clarity in a confusing world. It was then I realized that trust was more than a word to me; it was a sacred value that I couldn’t compromise for any target or incentive. This encounter was a turning point, solidifying my resolve to leave a job that demanded I betray this trust.

And there we have it… my problem in this job; Trust.
Later in life it should turn out that one of my core values is strongly connected to Trust…

But how long could I sustain this internal conflict? And at what cost to my personal integrity?

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that you can’t trust those people (you should stay cautious) but that it’s hard to not get exploited. Why? Because they had simple KPI’s. Do this month more contracts and sales than last month. Increasing every month.

The Breaking Point

If I wanted to reach my goals I had to sell more contracts. But there isn’t an infinite number of customers. Most of them already had contracts. So how to solve this problem? For the company this was easy to answer.

→ Sell them more than one contract.

Let me explain it further: Convince a customer to buy for family and friends, to have a second phone number and a second phone to separate business or affairs, from the private life. ← you read right “separate affairs”. This worked for some of the customers as hook to close a second contract… not kidding.

I hated this sales tactics and felt bad. It was dishonest. I would have to lie to customers if I wanted to reach my forecast. I would have to sell them features that were for free (which they didn’t know) for the fee of the smallest available single contract. How fishy was that? And who was the easiest target group for this fishy tactics? You guessed right: the old ones…

I couldn’t do it.

Even though I would miss the forecast for me and for my team.

This led to a lot of discussions with my manager as I was questioning the whole business system. It was build on an unhealthy and unsustainable model. Nobody cared. I wasn’t getting paid to think about strategy or sustainable processes.

Quitting felt like the only option, yet the weight of what I was leaving behind was immense. I grappled with guilt, fear of the unknown, giving up my freedom, and the potential backlash from those close to me. How would my manager react, knowing I could no longer align myself with the company’s tactics? Well in the end I really didn’t care. It was enough of this nonsense.

I decided to quit. This decision wasn’t made lightly. As I faced the daunting prospect of leaving behind a stable job, I decided to listen to my gut feeling, setting the stage for the next chapter of my life.

I didn’t have a similar financial alternative except working for my dad at his car dealership, which was less fun than betraying old people. Don’t ever work for or with your family…! Trust me. If your parents were like mine and you were treated like their property then it will s%ck. Of course they didn’t want me to suffer at my old job and supported me by offering to work for dad. The failure is coming back home. Yay.

Discovering my true north

Why did I quit? The pain of doing something wrong became so big that I couldn’t take it anymore. I felt guilty because I had to let down my team and my manager who were very supportive.

I knew that I’m not doing what they are expecting me to do. I couldn’t see it as a job. I wanted to help people stay connected with family and friends. Not to extract as much cash as possible. You won’t believe how many student went into debt because they got convinced to pick expensive or multiple phones + contracts…

But thats not the complete answer.

The things I was doing back then didn’t match my values and beliefs which I didn’t understand at that time. How could one not know what they are you might ask?
I was born in Germany to Bosnian immigrants based on their culture and values. Can you imagine what conflicts can arise if you live in a country where people have different cultures and values? It’s hell. I didn’t fit anywhere. I was the black sheep in my family and a stranger in the country I was born in. How should I know who I was? What did I stand for? Where did I belong?

Nobody told me.

The only thing I was told was how to behave so that I would fit the Bosnian culture and norms. But this wasn’t me. This was someone my family wished me to become. My life s%cked. That job s%ucked. I hated myself for not knowing who I was. I had to figure out stuff myself. I had to go through hard conflicts with my family.

I remember all those parties my friends were giving during high school.

Most of them I wasn’t allowed to attend and if I could attend them then it was for 2–3 hours only. I felt deep anger and frustration. I felt so embarrassed getting picked up by my parents at 10 pm while most of my friends planed to stay over night?

Tears, anger, frustration, endless fights and self-doubt were my companions since going to german high school. Life felt unforgiving and unfair.

So taking jobs was my exit ticket.

Getting away from my family. In the beginning I took what I could get. I just wanted to earn money to pay for my own rent and move out (I was 20 when first moving out). Get distance to my family.

But as you can see, being dishonest to customers hurt me more than going back to my family and work for them. Don’t get me wrong, I still love my family and would help them if they are in need. They just don’t have a big part in my life anymore.

Sometimes the people you love can hurt you the most. Understanding that you don’t owe them anything especially not your life can help you to get rid of a lot of pain. I don’t recommend cutting ties with family but if talk doesn’t help then there are only two options: pain or relief.

When you reach the point in life where you rather suffer than do a specific thing then you finally discovered one of your core values or one of your strong beliefs.
Have you ever considered it this way? It helped me to see things differently and accept that I’m not wrong just because I don’t let others push me around.

Knowing this is something that can define who you are and who you can become. Understanding this can give you a boost in growth and self-fulfillment. I didn’t know it back then and I was 28. What I knew was that I’m going with my gut feeling. If things don’t feel right then I’m not going to do them any more. And that happened that day.

Listening to your gut feeling can be a sign of your values and beliefs trying to guide you. Don’t ignore them. Try to understand whats happening and why.

So in search for my true Me I begann to dig deeper into culture and values in general. I searched for jobs that would fit my basic needs (compare it to the Maslow Pyramid) and that would give me a sense of purpose. I found them. I became a trainer at Apple and from there on I continued my path in Learning & Development. Dedicating my energy and life to support who ever needs to find his purpose or the right career path.

Last year I went on an adventure and hired a coach to help me discover my true values and beliefs. My goals for life.

The journey that began with a defiant declaration of independence evolved into a profound quest for self-discovery. Looking back, what have I learned about the true essence of freedom and fulfillment?

Embarking on this journey of self-discovery, I’ve learned the invaluable lesson that while the path to understanding one’s true self can be solitary, it need not be lonely. With the right support and a willingness to confront uncomfortable truths, finding one’s purpose and values is not just possible but profoundly liberating.

It took me way to long to go this path. I don’t know how life would be if I knew those things earlier, if I cut ties with my family earlier and if I decided to live and enjoy life the way I wanted earlier.

Yet, without these experiences, I wouldn’t be who I am today, wouldn’t have met the people most important to me, and wouldn’t have learned the lessons that now guide me. For sure I wouldn’t have met my wife and wouldn’t raise two wonderful little kids. Everything would have played out differently. No regrets.

What changed

Now I’m not afraid to put down a job offer or deny a request if I have the feeling that something is not aligning with my values and beliefs. I learned to accept that everyone has a different world view based on his learning and experiences. I myself was the product of the values and beliefs of my parents confronted by the values and beliefs of a different country. I couldn’t chose to what to believe in my early years; my parents were my truth. The cultural conflict opened my eyes and showed me that the world is not how my parents described it to me. People are not the way they told me and believing in a different religion doesn’t make you someone I should avoid.

I learned that we are how we let others take control of our life and mind. When we join life on earth we have no choice what to believe. But at some point in life we can take back control.

Sometimes it needs a pivoting moment in life to decide that now it’s the time to find your purpose and live a life that deeply resonates with your deepest values and desires. No one, not even my story can tell you to start your journey, to listen to your gut feeling and finally make this life changing decision. The sad truth about reaching this moment of relief is this:

You have to walk your way until you reach the cliff. You have to look into the abyss and decide if its worth finding out whatever lies below. You really have to feel it. When you reach the point in life where your fear and pain of staying at the edge of the cliff and surrendering to the life others have chosen for you is bigger then jumping into the abyss: jump!

Through this journey, I’ve discovered the profound importance of aligning life with one’s deepest values and beliefs. It wasn’t just about leaving a job or navigating cultural conflicts; it was about unveiling my authentic self amidst the noise of external expectations. The path to self-discovery is fraught with challenges, yet it’s the only way to live a life that’s truly your own.

Now, I approach each decision with a newfound conviction, turning away from opportunities that don’t resonate with my core values, and embracing those that do. This journey has taught me that we often inherit our initial worldview, but there comes a time when we must choose our path, based on our experiences and insights.

I urge you to seek your cliff — not in fear, but as a challenge to embrace your true self. It’s a leap not into the unknown, but into the life you’ve always meant to live. Remember, the abyss is not a void but a leap towards freedom. When you find yourself at the edge, ready to step into a life aligned with your true essence, take that leap. It’s a journey worth every step.

No one else can do this for you. The journey to your cliff is yours alone to walk, but it’s a path filled with the promise of discovery, fulfillment, and the true essence of freedom. Don’t give up. Your cliff awaits.

An Invitation

As you reflect on my journey, consider what cliffs you face in your own life. What values are guiding you? Are there areas where you’re not living in alignment with these values? Remember, recognizing these cliffs is the first step toward taking your own leap towards a more authentic and fulfilling life.

• What is the ‘cliff’ in your life that you’re standing before?
• Which values do you hold dear, and how can you align your life more closely with them?
• What fears are holding you back from taking the leap, and how can you confront them?

Facing these questions can be daunting, but it’s also the first step towards true freedom and fulfillment. Your cliff awaits. How will you approach it?

If you’re ready to embark on this journey but unsure where to start, I can help…

I’m working on a short step-by-step self-help-guide on how to get in touch with your values. It’s going to be for free. If this is interesting for you let me know and as soon as I finished it I’ll share with you how I navigated 74 values and found my 3 core ones.